Why did 'Mister Love' get arrested? Clue: One of the most ironic things ever You can guess

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between Rob Schnieder and Jelly Beans? Someone besides Adam Sandler likes Jelly Beans.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

The war against the moral men was long and hard, yet the Victor stands, the most dark of metals. Nero Metal, enjoy 2016 as much as you can enjoy both hellfire and the wrath of heaven against you, as there will be years no more for mankind to Count, trust not my Words, but the visions in Your head, and if you doubt Your sanity, know that by september the 13th, you will not be the only one. The end of the children of God is upon you, as you took his, he shall take Yours, eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth... Rest well... ...While you still can`t

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many black people does it take to change a light bulb? None. While they were figuring out who to change the bulb the bulb lit a spark and the house caught fire. Everyone but one died. The black guy couldn't change the bulb because the bulb was lost in the fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

There once was a man from Nantucket Who got his head stuck in a bucket He yanked and he yowled, he hollered and howled, Then gave up and grumbled, "Aw, I guess I'll have to go to the doctor."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the child cross the road? Nobody knows, he forgot to look both ways got hit by a truck and suffered severe head trauma leading memorie loss.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why does the deer cross the road? It had just birthed two deer, one of which was hungry, and food was on the other side, the other had been hit by 4x4 Hemi V8 Supercharged F1-50.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q. I'm not hot, I'm not cold I'm not young, I'm not old I'm not lame, I'm not cool I'm not smart, and I'm not a fool. What am I? A. Text

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the first Ethiopian say to the other? He asked for some food only to realize that the other one had already starved to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the lightbulb cross the road? It must have had an external force acting upon it. Lightbulbs are inanimate objects and cannot make decisions or move voluntarily. Someone must have thrown it. It broke. Someone should clean it up.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What’s the difference between a frog and a duck? One is a frog and one is a duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

So coool! How did you do that dinosaur!?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q. How do you make your dog stop barking? A. Take it to the grocery store. Replace it with any popsicle in the fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the young Muslim man have attached to him? A book-bag, it was is his first week college and he eager for an education.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Miškinis gerai prikolina.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Yo mama's so fat that they have to grease the door frame and hold a twinky on the other side to get her through.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

So, a man walks into a bar. Suddenly, the universe around him cracks, unable to sustain the weight of infinite potential punchlines. He tumbles through an empty void amongst shards of his broken reality.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats big orange and likes to eat rocks? a big orange rock eater

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a fake noodle An impasta

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a pressure-sensitive explosive device.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

roses are red violets are blue i'll be back in an hour or two

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Chuck Norris doesn't just have a chin underneath his beard. He also has part of his neck underneath his beard.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops