How do all Asians look? With their eyes.

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- I got kicked out of the library today. - why? - because I put the women's rights book in the fiction section

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I`m not as random as you think i`m salad.

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What is the best way to run a race? Start out fast, run fast in the middle, and finish fast.

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

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What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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What is the difference between my dog and my girlfriend? I love my dog

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How do you burn alot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire

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Your mother is so heavy that she decided to try out nutrisystem

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Ask me if I'm a tree I don't need to, because I know you're not a tree

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As a kid I was always told that school would get me good places. As an adult, I have found that there is another thing that gets you into a good place. Shrooms.

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I read my Uncle an anti-joke. He is still wondering why it made no sense to him.

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You know what happened when I kissed a girl? I enjoyed it so immensely that I received an erection.

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A. What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew: B. Pizza's don't scream when you put them into a oven.

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How did the retarded, blind child win the Special Olympics? He didn't, he died of terminal lung cancer the year before. R.I.P.

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Q: What did the tree say as he fell? A: Studies have shown plants in general do not have a voice box, thus making plants incapable of speaking.

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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minorities

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If pro is the oppisite of con what is the oppiste of progress Congress

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how did the kenyan get away from the cup He didnt he got arrested

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a lady says, " i cant stand this." Th guy next to her had his legs blown off and will never be able to stand again.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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