Eating food: Ugh disgusting! Taking a dump later: THIS IS DELICIOUS! Man, you are doing it wrong... Waterworld was a pretty dry movie, I mean when are they gonna start making movies with a bit of wet humor for a change? SERIOUSLY BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY I AM NOT SERIOUS!

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Fine, start by proving to me that you can be a reasonable human being, and I will meet you myself, I have too many of those that rely on my guidance and protection in order for me to send myself off to some suicide mission. Say, are you familiar with the Antony Stark method?

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So, you got to take medications daily or die? Are you in pain my dear?

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Hurricane Sandy should be named A-Rod. Cuz he dosent hit anything

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Your mother is so stupid that she claimed the pole ran into her.

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You're so black that other black people make fun of how black you are.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have multiple personality disorder And so do we

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Why don't traffic lights go swimming? Because they aren't sentient or animate, and therefore can't decide to undertake such an activity. Even if they were sentient, they wouldn't enjoy swimming as the water would damage their electrical works.

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Why was Timmy crying? because his impaled his dog while in a drunken rage

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I wanted to impress this girl by showing her that I was good in math. So I went up to her, and told that I knew that the value of pi is 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406286 208998628034825342117067982148086513282306647093844609550582231725359408128481 117450284102701938521105559644622948954930381964428810975665933446128475648233 786783165271201909145648566923460348610454326648213393607260249141273724587006 606315588174881520920962829254091715364367892590360011330530548820466521384146 951941511609433057270365759591953092186117381932611793105118548074462379962749 567351885752724891227938183011949129833673362440656643086021394946395224737190 702179860943702770539217176293176752384674818467669405132000568127145263560827 785771342757789609173637178721468440901224953430146549585371050792279689258923 542019956112129021960864034418159813629774771309960518707211349999998372978049 951059731732816096318595024459455346908302642522308253344685035261931188171010 003137838752886587533208381420617177669147303598253490428755468731159562863882 353787593751957781857780532171226806613001927876611195909216420198938095257201 065485863278865936153381827968230301952035301852968995773622599413891249721775 283479131515574857242454150695950829533116861727855889075098381754637464939319 255060400927701671139009848824012858361603563707660104710181942955596198946767 837449448255379774726847104047534646208046684259069491293313677028989152104752 162056966024058038150193511253382430035587640247496473263914199272604269922796 782354781636009341721641219924586315030286182974555706749838505494588586926995 690927210797509302955321165344987202755960236480665499119881834797753566369807. She had a psychotic episode.

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whats worse than a worm in your apple..? getting shot..

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TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE M

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Your parents are dead. And happy birthday!

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Why didnt the 14 year old get her period? Because she had gotten pregnant by her father

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Whats blue and flufft Answer: Blue Fluff

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Why did the man stop smoking? Because he was shot in the face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could DO YO MOMM!!!

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Have you heard about the Polish princess? There isn't one. The Polish monarchy was abolished in 1918.

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Q: Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench. A: A bench is an object and a mexican is a human being.

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Why do people laugh at the number 69? Honestly I don't know, its just a number isn't it?

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10 kids are on a bus. It's just a normal bus, it takes the kids to school and lets them off.

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dylan wishes life was like cod. that way he would actually be able to do something cool

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Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops