Why do canadians have a lower violent crime rate than the U.S? Because they were all raped as children and are now afraid of getting raped again when bathing in prision.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men jump out, and the plane crashes anyway.

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Q: What did the homless man get for chritsmas? A: Frostbite

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Why was the girl sad? Because she was, you idiot!

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Obama stumbles upon a KKK meeting. All the klansmen shake his hand and respect him because he is the President.

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What did one cow say to the other? Moo.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike.

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there. Not Mary!!

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Why did Rebecca Black die? She killed herself due to the cruelty of many people

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An older man and a young boy are holding hands and walking into the woods together. The boy looks up and say, "gee, I'm scared, it's dark in there." the old man answers, "Yeah, just think how I feel....I have to walk out of here alone!"

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Girl look at that body, girl look at that body, I got passion in my pants... Actually I lied, I got a penis and testicles in my pants, but I'm afraid to show it because people might think it's small, sorry

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What's the difference between a cult leader and a television personality? On average, 3.2 inches.

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Alright alright... But you gotta promise to call me then

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Why was the man wearing all white? He was a part of the Ku Klux Kan.

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Whiney the poo and the blustery day.

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Jimmy can't drive the tractor. Why can't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he's a patato

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, that was a turkey. Oh.

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What store adopted the dog ? The Pound

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What did the policeman say to the man robbing the bar? Stealing is wrong. Then the police read the man his Miranda laws.

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What do you get if you cross a football with Theo Walcott? A goal kick.

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dickdickvdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdick

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What do you get if you cross if you cross an overweight woman with a pair of very tight trousers? Exactly that, an overweight woman in inappropriately tight torusers.

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Why did the boy take the train to school? Because he lived quite far away.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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