How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

How many fish does it take to brush their teeth? Jp's worth of fish isn't enough.

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? I don't know, I've never tried to.

4 people: A pilot, Bill Gates, the Pope, and a little kid, are all on an airplane with only 3 parachutes, when the plane's engine explodes and starts to go down. But the pilot makes an emergency landing at a nearby airport and everybody is okay.

Four blondes are driving to Disney World. When they are in Florida, there is a sign that says "Disney left" Upset, they make a u-turn and go home.

John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

Why was the door opened? Because I opened it

Whats the difference between a baby and a sandwhich... I dont rape my sandwhiches before i eat them

What do you call a black man with a peg leg? Disabled

"When there's something srange, in your neighborhood... who you gonna call..?" The cops

what did the super popular, beautiful girl say to her stalker? i dont know, i wasnt the stalker.

What's green and would kill you if it fell on you? A golf course

RECTUM? Damn near spelled "Wrecked Him" the wrong way!

How did 6-year old dyslexic boy start his essay on soap? Sopa is shit...

When the tsunami hit in 2004, christians worldwide prayed for the victims. it didnt help

When you say that Chuck Norris has counted to infinity twice. I say that you cant count to infinity because it isnt a quantifyable number

roses are red voilets are red bushes are red trees are red HOLY SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!!!!

So a guy walks into a bar.... he gets a few drinks pays his bill and goes home

Whats yellow and cant swim? A bulldozer

it was 3 am in the morning and i was stopped by 2 black men in an alley. we said hey to eachother and went along

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms or legs.

roses are red violets are blue some poems make sense banana monkey glue

A guy walks into a bar, has a drink then leaves.

I went to the doctor & he gave only 6 months to live. I told him I couldn't pay my bill, he said "that doesn't change the fact you're going to die soon."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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