How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You shove her off the bed

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What do you call a black guy that feeds children? A waiter

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Why didnt suzy give mary i high five? because i cut off her hand

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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whats black and white? a zebra

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--- ___________________--- Can you tell what it is? Yes... Then what is it? Its a blanket,duh! ......

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why did the grinch steal christmas? The grinch had a rough childhood. he had an abusive father and a crack cocaine addicted mother, and as a result, the grinch never got a christmas of his own. The grinch steals the happiness of christmas from the who's becuase his horrible childhood has caused him to take his anger out on everyone around him, because the grinch believes that this will make up for his depressing childhoofd

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Knock Knock Whos there? It was the unexpected arrival of his wifes lover who'd been having an affair with her for over a year She thought her husband would be out and forgot to tell him not to come The husband started breaking down in tears whilst throwing insults at both of them, grabbing the man by his collar and throwing him on the ground he started to kick his head in The man died and the husband and wife divorced, theres now a bench in the mans local park dedicated to him.

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knock knock who's there... you you who who the fuck are you

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Dani Barton is not that! She is a great girl with a strong heart and feelings. The statement below is a joke, hence why it was published on AntiJokes. This is NOT a joke however.

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Why doesn't little jimmy ride his favourite bike to school any more? He was playing on the platform at at the railway station, tripped and fell across the track, at which point a seven carriage train came through at over 150 mph and cut through his upper thighs crushing everything in his legs and causing them to fall off.

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why did the kid struggle in school? because hes mentally retarted

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Q: What would happen if you threw a red brick into the black sea? A: It would get wet.

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I saw a woman get burned alive on the news... That woman was my mom.

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Why are all Asians smart? Not all of them are, Asians are stereotypically smart because their parents most likely grew up in an under-developed country and want their children to be successful because they don't want their children to experience what they did.

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How did the chicken cross the road? Assuming the vehicles yielded to the chicken, it looked both directions before crossing then proceded across the street while staying between the crosswalk lines until it had reached the other side of the road.

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Ask me if I'm a dinosaur. Are you dinosaur? No.

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What's the difference between a hundred dead babies and a porsche? A porsche is a car.

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What did Woody say to Buzz? A lot. There were three movies.

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When you nut and slice her fukcing dumb head off fucking dumb BITCH DIES

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Why is this joke hilarious? Because it isn't.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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What's the difference between men and coca-cola? I don't like coca-cola

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knock knock whos there? aids aids who? aids aids who? i dont go away

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops