Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent gets brutally murdered.

Woman: do u want to watch Snakes on a Plane? Man: sure, what is it about? Woman: It's about a horse on a boat

An artist walks into a bar and orders a rum and ckoe. The bartender reads the first sentence and realizes the artist is dyslexic and fixes him a rum and coke.

Who has lots of friends, but smells like urinate feceas? Smelly McD, I lied about the friends.

If little Timmy buys 80 candy bars and eats 67, how many candy bars does he have left? Diabetes. Timmy has diabetes. So he was disowned.

Knock knock. Who's there? Penguin. Penguin who? The penguin who apparently lives next door and somehow developed the ability to successfully interact with other species through gesture and retoric.

who looks like justin bieber and is really cool? george darling but i lied about him being cool.

What's green and would kill you if it fell on you? A golf course

How do you make an apple puff? Put the apple in a large pan with some water. Cover and cook gently for 20-25 minutes until soft. Add sugar and nutmeg to taste. Transfer to a bowl and leave to cool. Cover with pastry and bake until well-risen and golden.

Knock knock Who's there? The Land Lord The Land Lord who? I am here to evict you.

Henry was struck by a train. He was mourned by his parents.

Red sky in the morning, Shepard's warning. Red sky at night, Shepard's Fulcrum.

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven drove two planes into the world trade center.

Knock Knock Who's There? Steve Steve who? Your friend Steve, you called and told me to come over. Oh, come in.

What do you call two spaniards talking in French. Bilingual.

Q.How many dinosaur species can jump as high as a house? A.All of them, houses can't jump

I cant find my anti-jokes this is also one

Why did the chicken cross the road? Due to a lack of awareness of its surrounding, it died attempting to cross the road.

What did the giraffe say to the walrus? Nothing. Giraffes can't talk. What did the Scotsman say to the walrus? Nothing. Scotsmen can't talk.

Hey I just met you and this is crazy, but Im on bath salts, and you're face looks tasty;)

what tall and looks like a jew?

Why do birds suddenly appear? Because they can fly

what is Stephen Hawking's condom brand called? Anti-Virus

Why didn't little Billy's parents get him the new toy he wanted? Little Billy's parents are dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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