Why couldn't the blonde write the number eleven? She was paralyzed.

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Where did Sally go when the bomb went off? Everywhere.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? About 144 licks but everyone gets different answers because we all lick lollipops differently.

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Why did the duck cross the road? Hurricane Katrina

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Yo mamma so fat, she's on a diet and is losing weight at a good, steady rate.

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Is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Getting AIDS.

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JOSH BROWN STOP ADDING PEOPLES NAMES TO THE END OF YOUR TRUE STORIES!

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like. The man says,"I'm feeling light today so I'll just have some H2O." The man's friend says,"I'm feeling the same. I'll have some H2O, too." The second man died.

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What if someone sold your socks to a Jew? I would blackflip through the air and shit on his chest.

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What did the Iraqi Suicide bomber bring on the airplane? His Kindle, he enjoys reading books

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he is a chicken and is not intelligent enough to know that he is about to be hit by a bus while hopelessly searching for food under an elderly man's nose.

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what did the mexican cop say to the mexican drug dealer? can i get some of that

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. The man apologizes, and the bra assures him not to worry. They both continue on their way. The man wonders what a bra is doing walking around unattached to a woman, especially this late at night.

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Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shotgunned in the ass

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Why was the man "hanging around"? He committed suicide.

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how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? 7

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Roses are red, Bacon is red, Poems are hard, Bacon

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Why is a bird when it flies? Because the higher it goes the much.

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Why is there air? To blow up basketballs

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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why did the man cross the rode? He didn't he got hit by a bus

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Whats green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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knock knock whos there banana banana who knock knock whos there orange orange who orange you glad I didn't say banana

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops