Why did Jesus cross the road? He didn't. He's dead.

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Why can't the black person drown? He is very well trained at swimming.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, and so do I.

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What do you call a man named Cornelius? Well, he prefers to go by his middle name, Eric, because he was teased as a child for being named Cornelius.

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What kind of drug did the cops catch the alligator with? None. They were going to use a tranquiliser dart, but SPCA intervened and simply held the alligator's mouth shut while they loaded it into a secure cage.

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What happens when an old lady bumps into a black man in the middle of the night? He politely offers her help getting home and she accepts.

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What's the difference between a gluten free cereal and a regular cereal? One has gluten, and one has no gluten.

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What's the difference between 4 and 6? 2.

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How do you get a blonde's attention? Throw deodorant at her until she looks.

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Q: what comes after 69? A: 70

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a red corvette? i don't have a red corvette in my garage

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What did the cat say to the dog? - meow!

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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what did the slave say to the slave owner i like your car

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What did the man say when he found out he had cancer? Nothing. He was so in shock, that he later died from another type of cancer.

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Do you know what God said to Hitler as he approached the gate of heaven? ??????????????????

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A man comes home to his wife sleeping with their neighbor. This lead to their divorce four months later.

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Woman: do u want to watch Snakes on a Plane? Man: sure, what is it about? Woman: It's about a horse on a boat

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what's hotter than my cousin's girlfriend? I don't know. she's remarkably hot. like, one of the hottest people I personally know.

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Bartender: What are you having? Sally: Can I have a martini? Bartender: How do you want it? Sally: I want it tall and black, like my man.

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What is blue and has clouds in it? The sky.

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what did the little boy get from santa claus on christmas? nothing santa isnt real

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If your riding your bicycle down the railroad tracks and your wings fall off how much icecrea does it take to fill a upside down doghouse

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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