What did the Carbon atom say to the Oxygen atom? Nothing, basic elements are incapable of speech. It requires a culmination of many atoms to form a living human capable of speaking to another human.

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How do you keep an idiot busy? Give him something to do.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken. How do you get a baby to run faster? Chase it with the lawn mower. What do you get when you cut a baby with a straight razor? An erection. What do you get when you put a dead baby in a blender? Hold on. I'll tell you in a second. What's pink and spits? A baby in a frying pan. -S

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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What do you call the man with no arms and no legs? Jeff. Because that's his ****ing name.

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How do you make a little boy cry? You rape his dog

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My grandma once told me " never trust the blacks"

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Q: You know what never gets old? A: The kids in a school shooting

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just a man and his thoughts....and a smart phone app, and a loving family, thats not the point.

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, Oh wait... I'm blind.

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A black man breaks into a car, he doesn't steal anything because that would a violation of the car owner's privacy.

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When I'm through with you... They will never find your body... And even if they did... All they find would be teeth!!!

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A.act like u see a banner and say hey do you see that banner over there? B.no what are u talking about A.oh well there's a banner over there

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What did the black basketball player say to the white basketball player when he lost? Good game.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and says to the man running the stand. QUACK!!!

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Decode this; Hetay owcay aidsay oomay. Answer: ummmmm.... Let me think....ummm, does anybody speak pig latin?

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Why did the little boy leave his bike on the side of the road? He was kidnapped and his body was found 2 weeks later at Penn State

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what did the grandma do after she was pushing up daisies? washed her hands because gardening is a dirty activity

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how do u get a bonar? u look at your mum!!

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Why did the boy cross the road? He was visiting his dying grandmother at the hospital.

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Have you ever tried grabbing a bottle of 7-up free and walked away with it? Moral: If it says its free, its free ffs!

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A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

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Q: Why does the chicken cross the road? A: To get hit by a redneck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops