What do you call an office worker with no arms or legs? A paraplegic.

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What did the astronaut say when he stepped on the moon? Oops, sorry.

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what is green and has wheels grass i lied about the wheels

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What do you get a kid with no arms for Christmas? Hungry, Hungry Hippos.

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An African american man fell out of a boat at sea. He swam back to the boat.

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why did the chicken cross the road? I don't care! What are you doing in my house?

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What's 9+10? 19

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What do you call a Mexican that swam across the border? An illegal immigrant.

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Alpine Ibexes climb nearly 90 degree angles to lick salt deposits off mountain sides. They crave that mineral.

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Keira Knightley walked in to a coffee shop. The man behind the counter said "Wow, you're Keira Knightley!". Keira replied, "No, actually I am just one of your many masturbatory fantasies. You are currently staring at an old lady that just asked you for a latte". "Oh, by the way. You are drooling and have an erection."

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean? Dead.

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Why was Mary mucky? Because she was dragged to a field and raped

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud…

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Why did the horse stop runnIng? His master beat him to death.

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what did the white singer say to the black rapper? I would like to do a song with you seeing as how we have 2 separate audience types i believe this would prove the song to be successful

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I went to the bookstore to buy me a Where's Waldo book. I looked through the store and couldn't find it anywhere.... Well played waldo, well played.

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Imagine a scenario Add a Rhubarb Crumble into your scenario Add your mother and father sitting together watching the news in your scenario. Your scenario should take place in an old people's home Add an Olympic athlete doing the splits into your scenario If there were any crane-flies in your scenario, be sure to subtract them at once. Divide your scenario by two. Your scenario should now be a mental image of flying horses and a hippopotamus eating a large salmon mousse. There will be a pig tied to a pair of sunglasses.

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What do you call a man will dementia who just killed his cousins, wife, children, and teacher. His name. He's still a man until he's put in a mental institution.

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whats the best part of having sex with twenty-three year olds? there's twenty of them.

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What did the black man do when he found a bucket full of KFC chicken on the ground? He promptly looked around for anyone who might have bought it. After searching around, with no takers, he ate some of the chicken and saved the rest. He brought it back to his apartment and left it in his fridge, so he may later eat it as leftovers.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, a bus hit it half way along and it died instantly.

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What's the difference between zev hatis and a dwarf Nothing. They are both midgets and are going to die by the age of 25

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A guy walks into a bar. But this was a bar like a pole, so the man ended up with a broken nose.

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What is a Zebra? Zebras (/?z?br?/ zeb-r? or /?zi?br?/ zee-br?)[1] are several species of African equids (horse family) united by their distinctive black and white stripes. Their stripes come in different patterns, unique to each individual. They are generally social animals that live in small harems to large herds. Unlike their closest relatives, horses and donkeys, zebras have never been truly domesticated.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops