A mass murderer ran into a bar full of people. He first shot a man. What did the man say when the murderer shot him? Nothing, he was hit in the head and instantly died before he could say anything.

fish fishy caoimhin

A Guitar is an instrument. As far as you know...

Roses are red Violets are blue I love you so much That is a an example of the 2nd person and the identification of plants and their colors

What would kill a Muslim if they were to ingest it? Arsenic

A blind man walks into a bar After realising he might be hurt everybody rushes to his aid

Why do women live longer? Once they're sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

Whats worse than the dole. The SRC!!!

What is a jew in space? Dead

How do you kill Lady Gaga? There is no point in trying, she is too heavily guarded.

What's the difference between an American and a Russian? One's American and one's Russian.

Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

Why does Mario grown on shrooms? Because they bloom inside of him.

What do you do when a sing is stuck inside your head? Put a gun to your head, and shoot the song to death. It will work. Trust me. Youll never hear the song again. Or anything again.

what is racecar backwards in reverse

Yo mama so thin, she finally fit into the small - sized dress. She treats this as a great victory, and I am very happy for her.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a tape worm in your apple.

What did the Chinese guy say to the black guy? Nothing, the black guy dosen't speak chinese.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

Why was the boat red and sticky? A boy dropped his slurpee. What were you thinking?!

why did sally drown? because she had no arms or legs and couldn't swim.

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?... CAUSE HE FELT LIKE IT, IDIOT

What do you get when do you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence.

So a man walks into a bar and wonders why he walked into the building instead of simply just walking through the door. The man then realized that the building was if fact not a local bar, but instead a bowling alley. He was hallucinogenic and was in serious danger as he approached the candy man in the alley.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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