A woman who owns a parrot leaves her home, forgetting that a plumber is scheduled to come fix her sink. A few minutes after she leaves, the plumber arrives and knocks on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waits for a minute and, seeing that nobody has come to the door, knocks again. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, a little more loudly, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink!" The plumber waits for a minute and bangs hard on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screams, "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIINK!!!" Just then, the plumber clutches his chest and falls dead to the ground. When the woman returns home, she sees the dead man in front of her door. She opens her door to go to her phone and asks the parrot, "who is it?" The parrot replies, "WHO IS IT?"

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Christianity is not a religion; it's a relationship with God.

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All these jokes are very entertaining, but if you look closely, Lebron clearly travels. Wheres the call ref what the hell.

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how do you upset an obese cat? you put her in dog sweaters

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a dead baby joke? Dead baby jokes aren't funny.

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why did the alien eat the cow? peer pressure

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A. Knock Knock B. There is noone home so the individual goes home

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What do you call a baked bean falling from 10,000 feet? A baked bean

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Why did the fat guy survive the the plane crash? He was late to get up due to a malfunctioning alarm clock and so missed his flight, sparing him of the tragic outcome the other passengers suffered. To this day he still thinks about how a completely random occurrence saved his life.

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what is worse than a guy pissed?

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What happens if George Washington is still alive? World population increases by 1

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What comes out of a zit? Purple poop.

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A guy has spikey things in his butt, what happened?............... He fell on a cactus.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being taken to the slaughter house

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Person 1: what is 2 + 2? Person 2: 4 Person 1: no Person 2: what is it than? Person 1: vagina

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A bar walks into a man

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I like my babies how I like my chips. Chopped up and in a bag.

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A man reaches to grab a womans chest and then realizing hes gay, backs off and everyone goes home happy

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? finding two worms in your apple

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I've lost my electron!! Are you sure? Yes! I'm Positive!

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A Jewish man and a blonde were in a DIY store, the man buys a box of screws. The woman gets a phone call to find out her son is late for tennis training. She then hangs up the phone and leaves the DIY store with great hast.

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What happens when you put a white shirt in the red see on a blue moon? It gets wet.

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Latvia isn't a joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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