Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither, many scientists believe that the first living organisms on Earth were single-celled, prokaryotic bacteria.

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What would EARTH without ART be? EARTH, you dummy.

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Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

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How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He has to on his commute to work. He is a taxpaying citizen who does his 8-5 job to try and cut out a decent living for his wife and kids, so stop questioning the route that he takes to get to work.

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How do rocket scientists exchange greetings? They say "hi"

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An elephant walks in to a dry cleaners and asks the Chinese man behind the counter for the price of cleaning two shirts. The man replies, "$3.00."

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Orange is orange

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How many fingers am i holding up? 4

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Why did the little and energetic girl fall down? Because I snapped her neck.

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What did the baby get for his birthday? An Abortion.

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What do you call a black mailman? By his name.

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Why did the boy get nothing from Santa? He's Jewish.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why shouldn't you drink and drive? You might spill your beer

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How do you take money from a Mexican? You don't because they have none.

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Why isn;t the square root of peanut butter very athletic?.Actually, peanut butter isn't a mathematical equation nor does it have the necessary chemical make-up, physical properties or the biological construct that is required for it to be able to be considered athletic, stupid. You now have a inoperable tumor at the base of your spine. And I fucked your dad and shat in his mouth. Also, the cure for leukemia is my diarrhoea, you faggot.

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what is the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline? you take your shoes off before you jump on the trampoline.

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Stop procrastinating.

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How many stripes are there on a policeman's socks? None, policemen must wear regulation plain black socks.

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Why wasn't Steve paying attention in class? Because he was dead.

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A black man, an arabic man, and a hispanic man are all in a car, who is driving? The black man.

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? Depending on the size of the car, you should be able to safely fit somewhere between 2 and 8.

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If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? -Allergies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops