A girl walks into a supermarket. She picks up a banana, a can of soup, and a loaf of bread. She then walks up to the cash register to pay. The cashier looks at her and the items she has and says, "I can tell you're single." She smiles and responds, "How do you know that?" He says, "Because you're ugly."

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How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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Q. What did the boy do for his birthday? A. Nothing. His birthday occurred on 9-11.

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why is the earth mad at the moon? cause the moon mooned the earth

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What day comes after Friday? Saturday, and Sunday comes afterwards.

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Where did the duck hide its pail? UNDER THE STAIRS!!

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whats hard long and you put it in your mouth everyday a toothbrush

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What did santa claus get the boy with cancer for christmas? Nothing. Santa is not real and thus incapable of granting christmas wishes.

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What's funnier then the holocaust? A second one.

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what unique about 3 red signs and 1 blue sign right next to eachother? there all the same colors!!!!except for the blue sign.

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What is the best thing about dating a slut? You can return her at Build-a-Hoe Workshop.

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One day... Jack: Good morning Ben: Good morning The End.

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What do you call a Mexican who steals cars? John Doe, until he's been identified.

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AIDS.

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with a road? To get to the other side.

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404 Error: Joke not found

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Take a chainsaw and cut the swing in half

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What did the rabbi say to the bartender? Hi, Mark!

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What do you do when you see an elephant with a basket ball? Engage in play - if the elephant is playing with a basket ball it is most likely domesticated, and if it has toys it's probably well treated. Well-treated elephants raised in captivity are tolerant, sociable, intelligent and playful.

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What is a bull like in a China Shop? Calm, because generally any bull you would find in a China shop is probably made out of porcelain.

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Knock knock ? Who's there ? Ipe Ipe who ? You sick !

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Not your cheese.

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what is the difference between two trees? it doesn't matter because motorcycles don't have doors

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops