How do you stop a bus? You press the brake pedal, causing the brake pads to squeeze the tires. Which will slow the momentum of the bus to the point of stopping.

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A jew, a catholic and a muslim walk into a bar. The catholic man dies of a massive heart attack and the other two men mourn their friend for weeks.

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What's the difference between a Toyota Camry and 20 dead babies? I don't have 20 dead babies in my garage.

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why did the Mexican make a burrito for his grandma? it's her favorite food and she has artheritis and its to painful for her to stand long enough to make one herself.

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Once upon a time, people died. It was happening all over the land. They didn't LIVE happily ever after... since they died. The end... for them.

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2 sausages were in a frying pan. 1 sausage says it sure is hot in here, the other sausage says WTF a talking sausage!

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A chicken walks into a bar and orders a beer. Just kidding chickens cant talk and animal control was called

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Is Charlie Sheen bi-polar? Yes.

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A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. "What can I get you?" asks the bartender. "I want six shots of whisky," responds the young man. "Six shots? What’s the occasion?" asks the barman. "My first blowjob." "Well, in that case, let me give you a seventh on the house." To which the young man replies, "No offence sir, but if six shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will."

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greetings ZOE. WHAAA BANNANNAS ROCK MAH WORLD. WHY DID THE TRAIN CRASH? ....BECAUSE THE CONDUCTOR WAS A PIECE OF CHEESE! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. WELL LOVE YA CHICAS. PEACE AND BLESSINZ. SALUTATIONS, isabel.

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Knock-Knock Come in! ...

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thumbs up if you want 10 dollars to ya paypal.. email me @ sickguy42@hotmail.com

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How many women does it take to unscrew a light bulb? Usually just one, and a ladder.

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How Do You Fart Eat Beans

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What song did Buddy the elf sing for Santa on his birthday? Happy birthday

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Penis

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because crossing through traffic is very dangerous

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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I took my blind grandmother to the art gallary

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Why are Germans good at soccer The Holocaust.

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your momma eats so much ice cream, you often find yourself without anything sweet to eat late at night when you're hungry

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Fox News

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what do you call a fat man standing in the middle of the street a fat man

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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