A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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Q. Why did the man get an email? A. Because he checked his inbox.

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Two guys walk into a bat, they have a couple drinks then go home, one crashed and died in a horrible drunk driving accident. The other, who took a cab, went home and viciously beat his wife.

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Whats white and sticky? Marshmellows

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What do you call a black person living in the US? An African American.

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Obama.

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Doctor, I've caught a cold. Take a Halls.

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Why did the priest take a little boy into the back room? To talk about the boy's future.

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What did the penguin say to the peacock? Die, you homosexual!

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To pick up the remains of the thousands of his friends that lost their lives to this joke.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the shed I'm gonna screw you

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Mine.

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okay i know you read this far but this is the turning point

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Yesterday i had a conversation with my husband. I asked him if he slept with another women. He said yes

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What did the Jew say to the German? He said hello.

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Roses are red violets are blue I have alziemers banana cookie!

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a sociopathic murderer.

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WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS ROAD?!!! cause he was silly

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Person A - you must be tired, cuz you've been running though my mind all day Person B - i have no legs...

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a man walks into a bar some other people get up and greet him as they are his friends. he then has a great night with his friends. he goes home and goes to sleep. he wakes up with a man next to him

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A muslim, a priest, and a raabi walk into a bar. All three of them agree that it hurt.

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Why did Harriet Tubman have to take the underground railroad? Because she was a fugly slut.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops