Hi I am Michael Jackson... you have any young boys? My park is open :), the "nude dark caverns" can be scary, but I accompany them all, so relax. Moral: LEAVE MJ ALONE! ;(

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A tree falls over on an old woman. Mysteriously, the woman lifts the tree up and walks away. A man is amazed by this, so he goes and asks the woman how she managed to lift the whole tree. She tells the man that he is an idiot an walks away. Later inspecting the tree, he realizes it is a small sapling weighing no less than 10 pounds

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My uncle was involved in 9/11... He called me before the plane crashed into the twin towers, his final words were so comforting... "ALLAH AKBAR!!!"

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Extra extra read all about it dunkin donuts has now been named dunkin pigs..a cops favorite hang out.

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Rap. Skate. Smoke.

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How many times have I said the word shingles? twelve.

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How do you stop a black kid from jumping around in your bedroom? Chuck him out of the house.

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-Will you follow the live coverage of 86th Acacemy Awards? -No. -Are you anti-semitic?

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Q: Whats the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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Q:What's the greatest part about having sex with twenty five year old girls? A: There's 20 of them

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What did the gay man say to the other gay man? I like guys... cause I'm gay.

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Why was the pedophile in jail? For indecent exposure to a child.

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What did the chubby, dirty, hobo get for Christmas? Cancer

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What's worse than failing a school test for Peter? Nothing, because he is asian.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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What do you get on anti-jokes.com? A bunch of repeated "jokes", that don't make any sense.

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how many mexicas does it take to.... on wait there done

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Never mail in your wished to a genie, he may be dyslexic.

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What is better than life? Nothing.

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You have 10 apples and 12 cabbages How many pizzas can you fit on the roof? Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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What's the deal with airline food? Food tastes different on an airplane. The atmosphere dries out your nose, the air pressure numbs 1/3 of your taste buds, and low humidity levels give you cotton mouth. These factors cause the food to taste worse than it normally would.

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What did the man do after his wife died? He farted.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Actually, now that i think of it, roses come in many colors And violets are actually violet in color, thus the name

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with an alligator? Go take some acid and find out for yourself

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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