Who was the best Call of Duty World at War Player? A: Hitler he had 6 million kills and only 1 death

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knock knock who's there? penis in penis in who? penis in you

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whats long, hard, and full of semen? A submarine

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Q: How do you eat a dead baby? A: One piece at a time.

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How did Moses make his tea? He steeped the tea leaves for around 5 minutes in hot water.

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A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, did you know you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate replies, "Arrrgh, there's been a horrible nautical accident. Please call an ambulance immediately."

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When would you find a Mexican, Asian, Black and white guy hanging out? Never

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Why couldn't the dinosaur sing? Because dinosaurs are extinct

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An automobile mechanic busted an engine fuse. A prostitute had oral sex with a Marine. An Inuit hunter detonated a sea mammal with TNT. What do they all have in common? They all blew a seal.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Richard Gere has a girlfriend called Goldie

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? No. Trees don't jump

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Why did the man starve to death? He had no food.

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Duck: got any grapes? Lemonade Seller: no the duck waddeld away and never came back for the guy has no grapes

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing, she had no arms. Knock Knock Who’s there? Not Sarah.

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what did the bannana say to the milk carton. nothing bannanas cant talk and their on the other side of the store

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Q. Why did the black man not get on the boat A. Because he gets seasick

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What do you do when you see an elephant with a basket ball? Engage in play - if the elephant is playing with a basket ball it is most likely domesticated, and if it has toys it's probably well treated. Well-treated elephants raised in captivity are tolerant, sociable, intelligent and playful.

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I said no! Its not funny... Maybe a little but stop it, I am having trouble enough finding out which comments are mine as it is.

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Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seat belt.

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A horse walks into a bar. It trips over a barstool, breaks it's leg, and is butchered and turned into canned dog food.

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What's the difference between a mexican and a park bench? One is a minority whose ancestors originally lived in the central american country of Mexico, the other is a useful convenience that provides a place to rest one's legs in a public place.

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What do you call the people that ride on the upper level of a double decker bus? Passengers.

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Youre mom is so dead...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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