How many dead bodies does it take to fill up a bathtub? Wellll.......... It depends on how big the bathtub is.

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What do you call a boy with one eye and no arms. -Mean names.

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? It didn't. Anyone who would believe that is a complete moron.

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2 men walk into a bar without thier shirts. They get kicked out. 2 women walk into a bar without thier shirts They got beaten almost to death Why? The men dressed up as women, and every hated them so much they beat the almost to death when 2 cops walk into that bar, see the men dressed up as women and they too beat them. Little do they all know that the men disguised as women are really secret goverment agents looking into a drug deal. The drug dealers got away and now we have 2 people sueing the police department and drugs on the street again. Oh yeah I almost forgot: I made this up so if you read it you're going to die withing the next 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 years. I gurantee it. If you dont the men in white coats are going to do extremely painful tests on you and you just might die so then no one will care and maybe get onto thier lives again. Why did I right this? It hasnt happened to me so I dont know If you tell me I will give you something more valueble than gold. Want to know what it is? TELL ME FIRST!!!!

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Guy 1: why are you being such a douche? Guy 2: cause douches get the most pussy

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What's worse than finding an apple in your wo- wait, what?!

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A bishop died and went to heaven. At the Pearly gates he sees Saint Peter , so he says to Peter "All my life I've been a committed Christian, but I just before I died I was tempted by a woman of ill repute". Saint Peter says "This is just an illusion, your dying brain is merely conjuring up images based on your presuppositions of an 'afterlife'. You have about three seconds left"

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How do you fit 100 dead babies into a box? Put them into a blender.

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What happens when you step on Jupiter? You cannot.

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Q why did the kids make fun of timmy A because he was an android with al chunk of metal added accidentally where a real boys crotch would be. Bwilkster

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Who job is it to protect the forest? Obiously a male and/or female forest ranger of smokey the bear. It's that simple.

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Hey did you hear the one about the pizza oven? No.

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Laura Pratz... not having a strong urge to tweet everything that happens in her life.

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so today i took a poop. hehe

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What did the bird say when he was riding the turtle? Weeee...

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Whats Bin Laden's favorite store 9/11

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Your Mommas so scary slender is afraid of her -_-

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What do you call a bunch of Cubans on a boat in the Gulf of Mexico? A guy who just so happens to own a boat and is on a fishing trip with his buddies. -Mitch Hastings

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Fire is red Water is blue Earth is brown Air is transparent

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What did the midget say to the other midget? "We're midgets"

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Why did the tornado cross the road? Cuz it's a tornado. Don't question it. Run.

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What's the difference between Mitt Romney and a statue of Mitt Romney? The statue doesn't change its position.

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What do you call a Black man sweeping the floor? A janitor.

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Morgan Freeman walks into a bar. Everyone is pleasantly surprised that they are in the presence of a celebrity.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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