One terrible stormy night, the citizens of Ristoville were hiding from the monsterous lightning cloud approaching them. Little Jonny Harrison, however, was not afraid. This boy had been bullied from the ripe young age of about 14 months by his closest friend, Uncle Oliver, who happens to be a Catholic Priest. Jonny wanted to face the storm, with 6 years behind him, he thought it bizzare that anything worse than Uncle Oliver's magical basement could be brought unto him. He grabbed his supply of Cheese and Onion Quavers, a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Flavoured Ribena, his pretend mobile, a 10ft long metal conductor and his pet grape, "Christopher", and set out for the journey of his life. He told his terminally ill mother that he is going for the adventure of a lifetime, his dad that he wishes him well, and finally, his Grandmother, Rosie Harrison, who has had a severe addiction to meth for almost 25 years now, who has had over 13 interventions and countless attempts at suicide, that he loves her with all of his strong, brave heart, and to hang in there. Little Jonny Harrison takes his first step outside, facing the eye of storm with a little bit of pee in his pants, squeezes his Ribena, slightly squirting it and throwing it heroicly to the drooping wet grass, and screams to the cloud, at the top of his lungs, the words, "I am unstoppable!". Jonny died of HIV induced AIDS and his Uncle was given three to five years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation and consistent domestic abuse and paedophillia. His Grandmother, Rosie, also died later that day.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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Whats black and white all over? Michael Jackson

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being drunk in a mall sounds like it would be alot of fun . . . . . . . but that is public intoxication and that is against the law

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josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

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Roses are smiling, violets are trying to kill me. DId I mention I'm a paranoid schizophrenic?

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Whats the difference between a house and a mouse If you think about it , quite a lot really

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Knock knock Who's there? Hi would you be interested in learning about Scientology? No

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roses are red violets are blue everyone is stupid how about you? -I'm not Im black

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There are two muffins in a oven, the first muffin is chocolate chip and the second muffin is blueberry.

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Your mama is so fat. Just look at her.

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My name is Harry.

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what do fish smoke? sea weed

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How are a pizza and a jew similar? They both are people aside from the pizza.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Cause he wanted to

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Have you heard about the Polish princess? There isn't one. The Polish monarchy was abolished in 1918.

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"Grandpa, How did you know that Grandma was the one?" "When her sister dumbed me."

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A doctor walks into a bar, he stumbles backwards as he is taking his coat off, and the barman chuckles.

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Q: Why does it take three Polacks to change a light bulb? A: Because they're so damn stupid.

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Why was the black man carrying the television away from the store? He bought it

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What's more disturbing than finding an apple in your worm? The fact that you're eating a worm.

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wael.. nuff said

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Q: Wanna hear a joke? A: the WNBA

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Why is Henrik so AWESOME? Cos HE just IS!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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