Penis

thumb_up thumb_down +2

4 hours later.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she wasn't a woman

thumb_up thumb_down +2

"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Dracula." "Dracula who?" He pulls his cape up to his face and says, "May the force be with you,"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the Icelandic man say to the Norwegian man? Vishtok yerder poten hash vil narsh varden.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why didn't Hitler like steak? He was a vegetarian.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

thumb_up thumb_down +2

So an irish man walks into a bar, 10 seconds later he is dead. What happened was there was a sharp piece of metal on the bar so is cut his throat and he bleed to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you put in a toaster? Bread, or sometimes a small penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man is jogging down the street. He bangs his kneecap into a metal pole and shatters it. He is then hit by a giant cheese wheel and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what did the boy with no arms get for christmas? A pair of robtic arms and now he has super stregth so he fuk up any body who said he would get cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How did the conductor survive the Electric Chair? - He was a bad conducter

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you make a frog stand still? Shoot it.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you stop birds from building nests in your grill? You turn the grill on

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is yellow, has wheels, and lays on it's back? A school bus after a traffic accident

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the man say while he was in surgery? Nothing, he was in surgery.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did chad do when he found the grape? He ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He was butchered on the farm for chicken fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Christmas presents.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the car fall of the cliff? The dude driving the car was driving recklessly.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Don't quote me on this Nero, but she kinda deserves it, she should know better, its not like you have gotten this far by not knowing your limits, even if you tend to break them way too often. Can you get rid of the hallucinations with your mind alone? If not get to sleep asap! And stay asleep for a month or so, and if they somehow cant feed your system intravenously, they can all get the fuck out of there.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What do you call a dad running down a hill? A: A mom running down a hill, I lied about the dad.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. he crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats funny about a kid with down syndrome q: a lot of things, like his face

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops