A lady with alzheimers walks up to her friend and says" my nefew died today" and her friend replied.. " no he died three years ago."

Friend: Hey dude, you wanna come to my house after school and do some Meth? Other Friend: Nah I dont wanna get scabs all over my skin, disgusting teeth, and im not in the mood for dying early. Im good here.

What do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot

A Matthew walks into a room. Everyone left. This is not a joke

A seven foot tall kindergartener walks into a bar. He is reduced to tears after being ridiculed for his inordinate height and unappealing physical appearance. A bartender then proceeds to escort him out of the bar for being underaged. -BG_Shank_A

What is Brown And Sticky ? ......... a Stick

After eating dinner, my dad said... "That was really good."

What's black and white and red all over? My dog after she was hit by a car (true story)

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. What's worse than that? Hearing that joke a million times on this site.

What did Jimmy do on his 8th birthday? Turn 8.

A seal walks into a club.

What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? One if part of the four main food groups, and one is not.

"Knock Knock" "Whose there?" Someone who needs to consider not saying "Knock Knock" every time they are about to enter a building.

96

How do you hook up with a really hot chick? This website is intended for Anti-Jokes, Not Dating Advice.

Is it a ironic if a man with ADD is driving a Ford Focus?

Why did the Germans conquer Poland so quickly? Heavy military manufacturing and Blitzkrieg battlefield tactics.

my ilkshake brings all the boys in the yard. and the local health inspector's like , have you got a permit to be selling dairy beverages from a home based business?

Why was the man happy to see his wife dead? He beat her

How do you wake up Lady GaGa? You poke-poke-poker face

what's 6 inches long and women love? my penis

Why did the first monkey fall off the tree? becuase he died Why did the second monkey fall off the tree? because he was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall off the tree? monkey see, monkey do

Friend: Do you want to go to the bar or see a movie first? Me: Yes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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