A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand, "Hey! Got any grapes?" The man then realized he was hallucinating because ducks are unable to speak proper english.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why don't women bother to have penises? Because they're lazy and they don't care.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you judge a black person? By the content of their character.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

So there we were, climbing Mount Kjerag and we take a break. So I decided to tell you a joke. "Isn't this nice, just hanging around? See it's funny because we're suspended over 1000 metres in the air by our harnesses, except that you're not because I cut yours and now you're falling and you're gonna die." But I had done all that before I told you the joke so you didn't hear me and now I'll have to cut my harness and try to catch up to you so I can repeat myself. Great job, ya prick.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

So like i was like 3 and I was like stupid or something I was only three, come on! three

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Once upon a time there lived 3 polar bears; a mummy polar bear, a daddy polar bear and a baby polar bear. Ond day the baby polar bear said to the daddy polar bear "I don't feel like a polar bear, I'm cold!" and the daddy polar bear said "You look like a polar bear."

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you kill a blonde? Choke her.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you say to a confused blond? You help her with her conundrum.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man walks into a bar. Of chocolate. Yummy!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Have you seen Helen Keller's new car? Neither has Stevie Wonder.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why was six afraid of seven? because seven murdered sixes wife and kids and said he was next.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homosexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual pandas just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homosexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red Violets are blue ... Uhhhh I don't think anyone knows the rest of this!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's the difference between a pheromone and a hormone? Hormones are secreted internally and trigger various biochemical pathways that cause certain effects. We all are familiar with the effects of testosterone and estrogen, both on the anatomy, and behaviour of humans. Pheromones are secreted externally, and have an effect on another creature in similar ways. Usually they have to do with attracting sexual partners or changing a sex partners behaviour or body in some way.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

An Italian, a Mexican, and an American all stand in one room. The Italian throws pasta out the window and says "We have too much of this in our country." The Mexican throws a taco out the window and says "We have too much of this in our country." The American throws a burger out the window and says "We have too much of this in our country."

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why are fish bad at basketball? Because they're afraid of the net...

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q:What would strawberry short cake never say? A: Very

thumb_up thumb_down -4

you need 2 pple for this. Ask me if im a tree? Are you a tree? no

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man wanted to kill himself.. He did.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why didn't the cat have any legs? Because it was a snake

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Just kidding, he didn't cross the road, he had no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call an asian with a small penis? Whatever his name happens to be.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Michael Jackson's favorite places: Toystore Candy shop Playground Amusment parks Kindergarden classroom Orphanige

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops