What is the difference between my dog and my girlfriend? I love my dog

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

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Why was the strict Asian father angry when his son got an A- on his test? He found out that his son had been cheating.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Time for you to get a watch

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What do you call a dog with no wings? A dog

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If youre African, why are you white?

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Two cows in a field one says Moo the other says, Moo

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I like my coffee the way I like my women.....without a penis.

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A blindman walks into a bar... then a chair, then a pole

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What do you call a gay mexican on welfare? poor

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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Whats worse being raped by jack the ripper or being fingered by captain hook

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Why can't Helen Keller have sex? She is dead

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Q. what's red and smells like blue paint A. a dead baby in a trash can beside a foster home

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A jew a muslim and a catholic walk into a doctors office. The doctor is arrested for raping a child and his office closes. The Jew and Muslim find another doctor andthe Catholic dies because he had aids

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My grandmother's zodiac sign was cancer, and she was killed by a giant crab.

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why did bob fall off the swing Because he got hit by a microwave

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what do you get when you give an eevee a french stone? Napoleon!!!

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What do you call a black man standing on a sidewalk? Preferably race shouldn't matter in this situation, but in most social circumstances the man would be described as black to elucidate the person being depicted.

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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What did the jacket say to the girl? Zip me up wait why am I talking

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Hey girl, are you from Jamaica? Cus ja makin me go temporarily insane.

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Person 1: Knock Knock Person 1: Who's there Person 1: me me you who you me you who me you no me (say super dooper quickly)

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A: What did the orphan get for christmas? Q: Nothing she doesn't have any parents

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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