You're mother has had a heart attack in the middle of the street, you start to sing amazing grace hoping people will join in, but unfortunatly this is not a musical and you should call 911.

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A man walks into a bar.. and has a bomb strapped to his chest

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What are the similarites between Autistic people and dead people? They are both very poor in social situations

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, floating in the ocean? A victim of the increasingly violent Mexican drug cartels.

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poop

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Why did the poorly educated man get fired from the M&M factory? He changed the M's to W's!

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nickel back

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What did the coin said when it got flipped ? Nothing, coins do not have sufficient requirements to be able to talk like we humans do.

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What is blue and feels like fluff? Blue fluff

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Knock knock Who's there? Isabelle Isabelle who? Isabelle Williams Oh hi Isabelle come in

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What do you get when you cross a dead monkey, a chair fitted with wheels for use as a means of transport by a person, Isaac Newton & the creator of the website? Stephen Hawking.

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What's funny about black people? The fact that they are all in prison for not being visible at night time.

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yo mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale it said, 200 l.b.s

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There are two bears in a shower. One bear says "pass the soap." the other bear says "no soap. Radio."

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Q. What do you get if you cross a suspicious person with a paranoid person? A. Who wants to know

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Why did the Jew die? Because of old age

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What is yellow and white and goes 150 miles down a railroad track? a duck.

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because six cheated on seven and slept with nine.

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Tucker Rivera

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What did the bullet say to Bin-Laden? Suck it

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What has a fiery tail and is mentally handicapped? Charetard.

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His face was drawn, but the curtains were real.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops