Whats slower than molasses? A dead baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What ever happened to Sally? We don't know she went missing over 5 years ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you kill a vampire? You can't because vampires aren't real.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the two Japanese men say to each other? I have no idea I don't speak Japanese

thumb_up thumb_down -19

how do you boil oil? add b to oil

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the man before he was executed? Nothing. He was already executed before he said something.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's got eight legs and one eye? Two chairs and half a pigs head.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why am I writing this...im bored

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are red. Violets are blue.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a boy with no arms or legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A boy's parents buy him a Wii for Christmas. The boy hangs himself the next day because you need arms to play Wii.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What is the difference between the sky and the ocean? They're both blue.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do dogs and whales have in common? They both live in the ocean. Apart from the dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell bad.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? Well it depends how many of them can figure out the staircase.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q:how do confuse courtney A: give her a beer

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why was Carlos fired? Because he stole and smelled of weed.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A doctor walks into a bar. It's his day off and decides to celebrate after a long week of working.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man walks into a bar. A few hours later he walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why do men not get cullulite? Because it's ugly.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What does samios search on google? Shemale gey big t.it lactating big c.ock An.al tearing Ana.l dilation school girl rape compilation

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Say this really fast. Ice Bank Mice Elf It'll take a while for dumbasses to understand.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops