what's pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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Two men are making sandwiches, one man is spreading peanut butter over the bread and the other man is spreading honey and Italian raspberry jam over rye bread. the man with the peanut butter sandwich looks over and says "HEY, where did you get the rye bread?" and the man with the rye bread says "well my wife made it yesterday and I would be delighted if you come over for some tea, and tried some of my wife's homemade rye bread".

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Nah Nero, nothing wrong here, I mean I am down to earth, you made me realize that, and sincerely you are my best friend, I mean I hang out with geeks all day, and yeah I might be a bit nerdy or even geeky myself, but not like this, I want to be more like you, spend time with you, not playing dungeon and dragons telling myself I am some warrior princess... I thought playing that crap was gonna get funnier but thats not true the least. What I am trying to say is that I look up to you, what you achieved, and still do, while if you look at me, I am literally several grades below you, so yeah, you are looking down at me. And yeah, I might be falling in love with you to be honest, but I know you have a wife and I am the jealous insecure kind, so I would not want to share you with anyone in fear of losing you if you where my husband, but I dont love you for what I want you to be, I love you for who you are. And yeah I know it must be awkward hearing me type my heart out here, but if you want to know me for who I truly am, as sincere as you are, you deserve it. And no, you are not blunt, you are what people would call "honest to a fault", and I adore that side of you, I mean if I want to hear what people think they want me to hear, I ask anyone else, but you, you are different, you are honest to death, and that makes me feel safe and trust you when you say things, I mean you are a free spirit, if you thought I was ugly you would have told me, and that would have been okay, if it where you actually. So I am sorry if I sound weird or desperate or something, its just whats inside of me right now.

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What stinks of shit and has money. Smelly Mc Dee I lied about the money.

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What do an onion and a hamster have in common? They are both in my Grandma's omelette.

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What do you call a clock that has no sense of time? .....Broken.

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Sex vagina. lol.

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What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? Nothing, chimneys can't talk!

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What do you call a man who eats another man? An man eater.

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Why did the little kid use pillows at night? Because he was constipated.

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i had a dream last night;) it was sad because you lived but then i dreamed up a bus and made it hit you. i had a dream last night;) you died

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Richard.

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Q: Knock knock Q: Who's there? A: Not Suzie

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So Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station....

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What do You call a man with no arms or legs? Dead, He died of blood loss 3 hours ago

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Whats black on top and white on bottom? Rape.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Oh shit my gardens on fire

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CAOIMHIN JUST BE QUITE

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Why did the plane crash? Because a loaf of bread was the pilot.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Docter. Docter who? XDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

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I used to be able to walk, but then I took an arrow to the knee. It tore my acl and shattered my kneecap.

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I just found my mum has Alzheimer's, I hope it isn't contagious cause my mum has it too

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What do you call a girl who denies that she is one? Justin Beiber

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If Selfish Sam has twelve cookies and Tricky Todd asks for three then how many cookies does sam have left? Twelve. Remember he's selfish

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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