A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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If you took all the veins in your body and laid them end to end, you would die.

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A criminal walks into a bar, and shoots the bartender and has his way with the waitress. Its his bar now.

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A black man walks into a bar in Alabama, he then proceeds to have a couple of drinks and leaves.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench is nonsentient, generally heavier and not necessarily light-dark brown colored, whereas the black man is fully capable of thinking and usually has dark toned skin.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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1st person: What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? 2nd person: I don't know 1st person: A Jew is a follower of the zionist faith and a pizza is a popular food invented in Italy and comes with your choice of several delicious toppings. 2nd person: But not all Jews follow zionism 1st person: Well some places restrict your choice of toppings. Whats your point?

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After a while, the bartender comes over to him and asks if he would like another beer. He says no and leaves.

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How many black people does it take to change a light bulb? None. While they were figuring out who to change the bulb the bulb lit a spark and the house caught fire. Everyone but one died. The black guy couldn't change the bulb because the bulb was lost in the fire.

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numbers just make the funniest antijokes

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house No Oh... well he hasn't either

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sir ya look like ron weasly hhahahahaha LEL

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tomorrows international kill and orphan day, how meany of the sad bastard's you plan on baking into dough?

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A. THERE'S SOMETHING ON YOUR FACE B. WHAT?!? *PUNCH* A. IT WAS PAINNNNNNNNN

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(you will only get this if you play minecraft) whats green and looks like a penis? a creeper!

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Why is it so bad that the bus fell off the cliff? All my friends were on it.

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2 beavers enter a bar, destroy all the stool legs, and leave.

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Knock knock! who's there? Doctor Doctor who? No, this is your actual doctor, you have cancer.

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How many blonds douse it take to change a light bulb I dont know it hasn't happened yet

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's the government, your home is being repossessed.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Once upon a time there was a cowboy. He died. The end.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you simply have a chicken joke WITHOUT it crossing the road

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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