What's the hardest thing to do while masturbating? Having sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

You tell your mom she's a bitch and she later commits suicide by shooting herself in the head . Now, what's the only thing ductape can't fix? Your moms skull.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Your Momma is sooooo poor, she struggles day by day to feed you and your 8 siblings while keeping a roof over your head.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's red bubbly and spins around? A baby in a microwave

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what do you call a black man flying a plane? a pilot. what do you call a woman flying a plane? 9/11.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Hellen Keller walks into a bar. And a tree. And a lamp.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

tom pauling

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q)why couldn't the baby talk? A)the baby was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, It's still in its pen.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

where do you find a dog with no legs? Korea. It's customary for the guests to get the drumsticks.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Your mother is so ugly corrective surgery would not be able to improve her appearance

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? like most animals that wander onto the road, it was completely unaware that the road can be very dangerous. It didn't go onto the road on purpose, it simply treated the road as if it was just like the rest of the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

dickdickvdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdick

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock Knock JUST OPEN THE FLIPPIN DOOR ALREADY! I DON"T NEED YOU TO KNOCK AND INTRODUCE YOURSELF EVERY TIME YOU COME TO MY HOUSE!!! Jeez...seriously

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the man say when he saw a giant herd of elephants coming? "Look! There's a giant herd of elephants coming!"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby? I take my cleats off when I jump on the trampoline

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what did batman say to robin to tell him to get in the car? get in.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you get a black man out of a tree? You help him down.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Nero was my name thousands of years ago, but I believe that those With clearer sight, brighter minds, those you remaining WITHOUT the sense of Complete doom, oh children of the night, know far better, turn to my side, and sheep you shall be no more, together we shall be Whole once again, the sheperd of this New world! Thumb this up if you have seen the signs... Thumb this up if you have seen the sins... ...End up buried under the corpses of everything you knew if you have no vision in this New dawn of ages endlessly darknening, and pretend that the internet will be there, or that the horsehead network ever mattered to you for that matter... :You say insanity today, sunday 27th January 2016, you will be the one running, begging that Our world is but YOUR INSANITY, a nightmare, which only Death will awaken you from

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why am I sad right now? Because I just Sh*t my pants.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: What did the duck say to the other duck? A: Quack

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats funnier then a dead baby? A lot of things.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops