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A neutron walks into a bar. The barman says, "for you, no charge." The neutron replies, "very funny asshole, you're just going to put it on my tab after I pass out."

Flowers are colors Love me

When life gives you lemmons Give lemmons Life

What do you call a cat with no ears? Anything you fucking well like. Cats can't understand speech.

What did grandma get little Benjamin for Christmas? Nothing, she died last year

What's the worlds most popular burger? The Krabby Patty

What's black and blue and afraid of sex The twelve year Old boy in my trunk

hey hey hey wanna hear a joke.....................................MENS IQ!!!!!!

How do you confuse a blond? Dress up as Lady Gaga and yell "Ni!" in her face.

How many cops does it take to change a lightb- [Beaten to death by cops]

Woman:I give my Heart to You! Man:Thank You!!! The Woman then dies because one can't live without a heart

Why didn't Katie cross the road? Because she's dead.

joe paterno doesn't walk into a police station

What's brown and adhesive? A stick

why was joe in hospital with facial disorder? his mum hit him with a fridge

Why did the man have a finger coming out of his ear? He had a birth defect.

Why did the Muslim man get on a plane? Because he was going on vacation

Where do cows go in their free time? burger king.

2 nuns in the bath, One says "wears the soap" the other says "Over there, next to the shampoo"

Why does Jimmy Neutron have a big head? Heredity.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

Why wasn't the dog obedient? Because it was dead.

Two elephants in a bathtub, one says, "Pass the soap." The other one says, "No soap. Radio?"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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