Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, He gave me AIDS, And I gave them to you!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man was feeling sick and decided to go and see a doctor. He saw the doctor and then went home. He wasn't feeling any better so he decided to get checked-out by the doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A black man from Harlem walked in to a store. He then proceeded to buy a few items using money he had earlier procured by working dilligently.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

person 1:hello person 2:hello person 1:do you want to hear a joke ? person 2:yes person 1:good bye person 2:good bye

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man walks into a bar not a duck though

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm ovulating

thumb_up thumb_down +10

You know what happens when there's an awkward silence... Everyone feels a little bit uncomfortable for a brief moment in time.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man arrives at his work late, his boss says "why are you late?" Then man replys "...................." he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

My Boyfriend

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's black, white and red all over? A cow after slaughter.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

When life gives you limes....... first you have some problem and second u throw them at people

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call Batman with a knife in his chest? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A: Hi I am a Mormon B: I know I'm one of your wifes

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

charlie sheen

thumb_up thumb_down +8

a blind man walks off a cliff..... he's dead now.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Finding two worms. What's worse than finding two worms in your apple? Dying from cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the black man repeatedly punch the white man? The two men were boxers. They were fighting in a charity boxing match. Revenue generated by the event went towards cancer research.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did everyone call the ginger kid? Jimmy as that was his name...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

So I was walking along the beach one day and I see this whale. Then this dolphin named Lennie came up and was like, "Hey whale, how've you been? I haven't seen you in a while." And the whale was like, "Sorry, but I can't talk to you." And Lennie was like, "Whyever not?" And the whale said, "Because I'm not a starfish!"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why couldn't Austin eat his noodles? He was a horse, and horses don't have hands, silly goose!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why didn't the 9-year-old girl go to school on monday? Because she lived in a country where women don't have rights and was traded as a commodity for 2 pigs to be a wife for a 43 year old man.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was six afraid of seven? Back in middle school, they were both friends. They hung out every day and always had the best fun. It wasn't until their baseball team made it to the junior championship. That was when seven started doping for better strength and endurance for the game. Sevens family and friends (Especially six,) Had started to notice a change in sevens behavior and he seemed more distant from any social relationships with others. Seven began to become angry and self centered and only seemed to be focused on the game. Seven found out that Six knew that he was doping and fought him and brutally injured Six. Seven was then found out by the coaches and was kicked off the team. Seven, knowing that he had ruined his whole life, Shot himself with his dads .38 Revolver.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops