Q)why couldn't the baby talk? A)the baby was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you wake up lady gaga? You set her alarm clock for a reasonable hour.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because it is very difficult for someone with a vision impairment to operate a vehicle.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Three men walk into a bar and suffer permanent brain damage

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body in an accident? He bled to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Two men walk into a bar, one ducks

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A unicorn, a smart blonde, a dragon, and a hobo are in a maze who gets out first? The hobo. The other 3 don't exist. By Adam Chebali

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How did I do in the running events? Not that good, I'm a paraplegic.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did Valter fall of the swing? Because he didn't have any arms Knock knock Whos there? Not valter

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Do you know what the zombie said? Raaargh Brains

thumb_up thumb_down +14

a black man is chasing a white man,, "sir you dropped your wallet'!!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Yo momma's so poor, she needs to work 2 jobs to support her family.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Yo mamma is so fat, that she's going on a diet and is exercising regularly to lose wait.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the lawyer name his daughter? Nothing. The lawyer is sterile and can never have children.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Hellen Keller walks into a bar. And a tree. And a lamp.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's Funny About A Black Man Being Shot? Nothing, That Man Was My Friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do a squirrel and a cigarette have in common? -They are both perfectly harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why is this website called anti-jokes? i don't know but it makes sense.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what is orange and blue 2 colors

thumb_up thumb_down +12

You know what likes to get fisted? Sock puppets.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the difference between Elisabeth Fritzl and Pope John Paul II? Pope John Paul II wasn't imprisoned and raped continuously over a 24 year period in a horrific act of cruelty by his father

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats the difference between a fish and whale? Ones bigger than the other.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops