Why isn't Abraham Lincoln on Mount Rushmore? Because he doesn't have a helicopter and he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the guy day to the other guy with an afro on his head? You look like a guy with an afro on his head.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the car catch fire? It was parked in Ferguson, MO

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do a dog and a fork have in common? They both have tails. Except for the fork.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the blondes left leg say to her right leg? Nothing they haven't met yet.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A program that creates "pointless inventions" and posts them at the wrong sections.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q. How many infants does it take to paint a wall? A. Depends how hard you throw them...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man finds a lamp in the desert. He picks it up and dusts it off. The lamp becomes cleaner.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is your favorite color???? My mom I got u s o godd.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I once heard a funny joke, it was as funny as a funeral

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the boy not wake up on time for school? He was fucking dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

On a scale from 1-10, what is your favorite color of the alphabet?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why was the boy sad? he had a frog stapled to his face

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Where did susie go after the explosion? everywhere. What was susie after the explosion? a puzzle.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the two prostitute say to each other? I dont know, i wasn't there

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the elephant say to the clown? Swell, morning isn't it?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why couldn't the driver start his car? Because the driver was a tree

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Sorry, what? your door is kind of thick.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than getting shot in the face? Nothing really because that could leave you seriously handicapped for the remainder of your life or there is a good chance that you are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Yo momma is so stupid, she is in rehab and will unlikely get over her mental illness leading to her soon and fatal death.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What happened to the blind boy? He went deaf.. helen kellered....

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies? A: The live one at the bottom trying to eat his way out. Q: What's worse than that? A: When he comes back for more.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops