How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

Why couldn't the black guy vote? He was only 17.

I'm winning at Scrabble.

whats funnier than 24? 25

'Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a pair of curtains' Doctor prescribes antipsychotics.

What is funnier than 24? The fact that you think numbers are funny?

What's hairy and sags? A ball sack

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Impossible, non-living organisms are incapable of moving and babies lack the brain capacity to understand how to screw in a light bulb.

So a guy walks into a bar.... he gets a few drinks pays his bill and goes home

Roses are gray Violets are gray Pansies are gray Daffodils are gray I am a dog :)

What did the dyslexic boy get for Christmas? A laptop. And he was very happy.

Why can't Hellen Keller play the piano? She's dead.

R: Caught my wife cheating the other night. P: You bitter? R: Yes. I am.

Will nearis is here! Get it

A lady walks into her bedroom and sees her boy friend having sex with another girl. She hears the phone ring and a voice says "your grandma died".

Kitana vs Shao Kahn. Kitana: HIAHIAHIAHIA...etc Kahn: You weak pathetic whor... OARGH! Kahn: FINISH ME!!! Kitana: Dad? Again? Okay the last time then... Kahn: I just addopted you you FUC... Oargh Oargh Oargh Oargh Oargh... OOF!! OFF!! OFF!! OFF! Kitana: *slurp okay no more for you I am uh... full, seriously, Ill explode or some other Fatality... Woody Allenality... Kahn: Kontinue? (press start to kontinue free play mode)

Hitler.. Hitlar... Hillar... Hillary Clinton

Why did the chicken cross the road? Listen, it's a free country.

whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a red corvette? i don't have a red corvette in my garage

Why couldn't the mexican buy a boat? Because he couldn't afford it

What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? "Get in the Batmobile"

these are shit

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

What ended in the year 1970? 1969

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...