Patient- "Doctor, doctor help me! I've only got 59 seconds to live!" Doctor- "I'll be there in a minute."

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One asks the other "Isn't it hot in here?" To which the other replies, "Holy ****, a talking muffin!"

What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

Why did the chicken cross the road? There was food on the other side

Why was billy made fun of his whole life? Because he's mentally retarded

Why did the chicken cross the road? Rocky was chasing him

Hey do you have a suitcase? Why? I need one.

how do you kill a blond? give her a gun and tell her it a blow dryer

If there are four gay men that come into a bar and need to sit down when all you have is one stool; what do you do? Get three more stools.

Why wouldn't the baby boy stop crying when the babysitter was in the room? Because he put cigarettes out on him.

Why didn't the man buy the sportscar? He couldn't drive stick

Why did the girl cross the road? Doesn't matter she got hit by a bus.

Sometimes black people kill other black people.

What do you get when you cross a spoon and a fork? A spoon crossed with a fork.

What do fish and dogs have in common they are both animals

Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seat belt.

Why does Eric Clapton use a Mac? Because he prefers Macs.

Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock.. Who's there? Not Sally!

You dropped something.... Yo lip

What did Anne Frank say to the Nazis who found her? Please be gentle.

A dyslexic man hears a joke, and laffs.

Hey, what do you call Sarah Palin? A Republican.

There was this girl who suffered for her whole life and then she died. It was very liberating.

"Have you guys ever seen Derrek Ashmores sisters? They are DTF if you know what I mean" - Jesse Ziegenbein

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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