What do you do when your baby won't stop crying. Slit its throat

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What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

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An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.

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What did the man get from killing his own wife and children? A boner.

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Why was sally mopping the floor? Because she was a slave

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A man who was not blind, but could not see, walks around a metal bar, and proceeds to the bar, where he walks into the door without opening it first

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What is 1+1? It's 2!

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"What would you do if i gave you a million dollars?" "I would scream and jump up and down? Are you really gonna give me a million dollars?" "No i just wanted to see what you would have said, that's all"

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Why did the all black baseball team beat the all white baseball team? Because the black team scored more runs than the white team.

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Q: How did the robber steal a laptop from best buy? A: With his hands

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Why couldn't the dead man take a shit? He was severely constipated

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Why did the guy go to the store? He really doesn't want you to know every detail of his life.

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Why did the Police Officer pull over the black man? The black man was not following the rules of the road and accepted the ticket with great remorse. The Officer then proceed to pull over a white man for this very same offence.

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billy has 100 candy bars he eats 78 of them what does he have now diabetes

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Q:What's colorful and waves like a flag? A: A flag.

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What is a mean thing to say to Stephen Hawking? Please take a seat.

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how do you wake up lady gaga you poke her face

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What do a black man and an elephant have in common? They are both multi-cellular organisms, they both belong to the kingdom Animalia, the phylum Chordata, and the class Mammalia, they both possess vertebrae, they both move through legged locomotion, they both possess knee joints and they both possess the capacity for altruistic behavior.

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person: Ask me if i'm a tree other person: are you a tree? person: no

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Why aren't there any black flesh-colored bandages? Good question.

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What happens when the hydro goes out for 1 second? 1 minute? 1 hour? 1 day? 1 month? 1 year? -1.8 people die. 105 people die. 6,306 people die. 151,338 people die. 4,603,198 people die. 55,238,376 people die. Aw shit, then you have to take account for how many people die of starvation :\, and the ones who froze to death, and the ones who died from heat stroke, And the ones who died of Alzheimers.

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What's the difference between a dead black man in the road, and a dead dog in the road? One is a human being that probably leaves behind family and friends that will miss his absence. The other is an animal that will also be missed, but to a lesser degree since dogs don't form a bond with people other than the family it shared its life with. In either of the two cases, if I witnessed the accident that caused the death, I would promptly notify the authorities so as to make sure that the driver of the vehicle that hit them would be subjected to a breathalyzer test.

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A mexican, an Aisian, and a black guy are fighting in a dumpster. Who wins? The Mexican, why? Home court advantage!

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A man walks into a bar a bartender says, 'why the long face'? the man says 'I just walked into a bar'!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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