whats 2+2? 4

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What did the kid with cancer get for christmas? Hope.

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What happens when Helen Keller plays badminton? She doesn't win because she threw out her back playing Ultimate Frisbee the weekend prior.

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Why isn't this a joke? Because it's not.

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knock knock, whos there? billy i dont know who you are, please get away from my front door before i call the authorities

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Q: How do turn water into wine. A: You don't.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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A man went to the doctor, complaining about not feeling well after dancing the night before. The doctor quickly rushed to the surgeon to get ready for the liver transplant that had to take place.

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What does a baby and a bowling ball share in common? They both displace a similar amount of water.

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Where do babies come from? My sex dungeon

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How many kids does Buzz Light Year have? To infinity and beyond!!

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To avoid being killed in the slaughter house.

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What did the fish say when it hit the big stone wall? DAM

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What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? A school bus after a horrible traffic accident.

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What did the little orphan girl get for christmas? nothing her parents are dead

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What did grandma get little Benjamin for Christmas? Nothing, she died last year

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That awkward moment when a sentence doesn't end the way you think it octopus.

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- Mommy look, I built a sandcastle! - Who cares, you have cancer.

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What did Newton say to Einstein? Nothing, Newton was dead before Einstein's birth.

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A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I don't know what to do! One day I'm a wig wam, the other day I'm a teepee, then I'm a wigwam, then I'm a teepee again!" The doctor sighs and replies,"Sir, we've been over this. You have stage four periodic cancer."

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Did you hear the one about the HIV positive man that got rear-ended on the highway? The motorist behind him was distracted on his cell phone, and did not hit the breaks in time to stop.

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Knock knock

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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