A man walks into a bar, gets caught in a knife fight, and dies horribly. The funeral was closed casket.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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What did the cannibal order at McDonalds? Big Mac, extra pickle, hold the mayo.

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Why was the boy sleeping on the curb? he wasn't actually sleeping, he actualy just got hit by a car and had already died.

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If u swipe fast u will see fish swimming -////--/// //-///--// --//--/// ---/////- -/////--/ ////---// ---///--- ---////-- --////--- //--///-// -//----/// -/-///-/// -/-/-/-/-/ -////-///// -/-/-/-/// -///------ ---------- --///-///-/ -////-//--- -/-/--/--- -/-/-////// ---------- --------- I will call ur doctor to tell him u are retarded

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What's the difference between a chicken and a bartender? A chicken is a domesticated fowl, a subspecies of the red junglefowl. As one of the most common and widespread domestic animals, with a population of more than 24 billion in 2003, there are more chickens in the world than any other species of bird. Humans keep chickens primarily as a source of food, consuming both their meat and their eggs. A bartender is a person who mixes and serves alcoholic drinks at a bar. also bar-tender ; 1836, American English,

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When he was a little boy, what was Chaz Bono's favorite Cher song? Chaz Bono was never a little boy, he was a girl.

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If the Earth is square, why are trees smart? because you touch yourself at night

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Eating a bagel, the man was overcome with disappointment, he thought that he had purchased a donut. He later hung himself.

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Q: Why is it so that antijokes often give you a funny answer? A:.... *hayroll* *crickets* Moral: Im the MoranautBitch!

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H o m o comes out as homo

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What was Hellen Kellers biggest mistake? Knock knock jokes

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CAS

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Two trees sit in a dark forest. Between them is a small hare. The wind blows hard and rustles the trees. The hare then looks up, and then forward. He hops away.

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What did bob get his wife for christmas? Pregnant

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What has four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill someone? A pool table.

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Do you want to hear a joke, Women's rights

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If Santa and a Blonde woman jump off a building who hits the ground 1st? They both do due to Galileo's discovery of two objects with different masses but similar densities hit the ground at the same time.

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What's the answer to all your problems The answer

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A muslim is working quietly in his 3rd floor apartment complex bedroom. ~~~~ He's been working on high explosives for 8 months now, preparing to kill innocent people.

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Justin Bieber

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what do you call a half dead black person crawling across your lawn..............................stop laughing and reload

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i tried logging into my ipad. turns out, it was an etch a sketch, and i dont own an ipad. also, im out of vodka.

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How do you get a man out of a box? Blow the box up

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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