How do you get your mom off a clown? hit your mom with an axe

What's the best rabbit for a black person?

Why dont black people go on cruise ships Theyre not falling for that one again

What did the Homeless man get for Christmas? A dollar

A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Hey, 2 beers please" The bartender asks why he is ordering two, as he is alone. The man replies "There is a taxi waiting for me outside."

Q. What's a pirate's favorite type of movie? A. It depends on the individual pirate, although most modern-day pirates are from third world countries like Somalia and so are too poor to be able to watch many movies. Classical pirates like those depicted in Treasure Island or Pirates of the Carribean are, of course, from a period of history before movies had been invented, so couldn't possibly have had a favorite.

Vagina jokes aren't funny, period.

roses are red violets are blue my dick is long longer then you

What's worse than losing your job? Getting repeatedly hit in the face with a brick after getting fired from your job.

What was the first thing that went through the mind of the first 9/11 jumper? Thank god I only jumped from the first floor.

So um think of two things. Oh wait backspace that. What's the difference between Rebecca Black and your mom? Ok answer. Ok stop no seriously so. Enter. Ok Enter. Q backspace A nope Chuck Testa

Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted better pay.

Why did the baby cross the road? Becuz it was stapled to the chicken.

Why can't Stephen Hawking run a marathon? Because it takes years of hard training to accomplish such a remarkable feat.

" Whats the deal with airline food? " -Sharon

I never drink liquor alone... except for when I'm alone.

Why did the little boy stick a fork in the electrical socket? Because he wanted to escape his abusive stepfather

How do you make the queen of england cry? You rape her violently.

If you have me you want to share me, if you share me you no longer have me. What am I? (a secrect)

Two flatfishes swam in a bathtub.

Your momma so fat.... She's at risk of cardiovascular disease. You should take her to a nutritionist.

Q: Why did the little girl fall off the swing? A: She didn't have any arms.

There's two sausages in a pan.. One says "Wow it's hot in here" The other says... "agrhhh a talking sausage"

Apparently I'm an unfit father, cuz all I know is dope and all I got is 30 dollas

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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