Did you hear about the peanut that was assaulted? He filed a police report weeks ago and is upset by the sluggish nature of the justice system.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is something I love to eat, the other is a watermelon.

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Why couldn't Jimmy breathe? He had a knife in his throat!

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An Irish man walks out of a bar..... 'nuff said

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Call of Duty Infinite Warfare

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How did the retarded, blind child win the Special Olympics? He didn't, he died of terminal lung cancer the year before. R.I.P.

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You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

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Two guys went to a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure" said the guys. The bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? (when you are done start reading from the top again, and don't stop ever)

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What do you call a black person driving a plane? A pilot, because you dont want to call him anything racist i mean he is driving you up 25,000 ft in the air and the last thing you want is for him to get mad and decide to do something rational, God, you racists.

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what did the black man eat for dinner? whatever his wife makes for him to eat

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Q. What's the best thing to do before you get in a car accident? A. There's actually not much you can do in a car accident, considering you probably will never expect it, and it happens relatively too fast to react.

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How many Jews fit in an oven? Nein

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Q: What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? A: Names

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Your mom is so ignorant that she in completely unaware how the premature termination of QE2 in conjunction with a potential US credit downgrade could substantially impact her fixed income portfolios and hinder her ability to retire in the desired time frame.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have down syndrome duh dusfy druah

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Your mother's so fat.....When she gets on the scale, it tells her how much she weighs

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Q)Why doesn't the blond have a job? A) he is 12

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A drunk guy walks out of an AA meeting.

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How to you get a clown off a swing? You shoot it in the face.

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whats worse than being late to school haveing your family killed by an angry peice of toast

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Go away still nothing to see

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Are yu mad Twinkle twinkle little star if yu don't shut up I'm gonna hit you with my freaking car

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How do you get a n***r out of a tree? Cut the rope

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Whats worse than spilling ketchup on your shirt? Getting hit by a bus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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