Why did the little boy have gum on his shoe? Because he stepped on it

Why did Captain Obvious crossed the road? Because that's the name of the chicken

What do you get when you write your own anti-joke? Herpes.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

The Joke Below

Yo' mama's so fat she has type 2 diabetes.

What's worse than find ten babies in a trash can? Find a baby in ten trash cans.

Why couldn't the black man get a high-paying job? because he lived during the harsh and cruel times of slavery.

An atheist dies and so will we all, eventually.

When is it ok to drink urine? When you're Bear Grills

-Whats not funny and has wheels? >What? -The Holocaust... I was lying about the wheels

What is the opposite of Christopher Walkins? Christopher Reeves

Your mama's so fat, she cries daily and regularly questions her purpose in life.

Your mother is so fat that she will likely eventually develop diabetes.

Adeeeellllleeeee where are my shorts

your mother is in alkatraz as she was sentenced to 25 to life due to false accusations

Where are you going Your house

Why does Mario grown on shrooms? Because they bloom inside of him.

Why are women so obsessed with not having penises? I'm serious. Imagine an ordinary woman out there, who is not doing any of the activities that the women-not-having-penises thing is famous for. But I can pretty much guarantee that under her clothes at that very moment, she isn't having a penis. And for no good reason. Sometimes I suspect women keep up the no-penis thing even in their sleep. Frankly, I find that creepy. Why are women so obsessed with not having penises?

Why did the snappy dresser take a button off of a coat? To see a button fly! NO YOU IDIOT YOU DID IT WRONG, IT'S SUPPOSED TO ABOUT ABOUT A "BUTTER FLY" OMG YOU DOLT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What did the farmer that lost his tractor say? Wheres my tractor?

Why did the chicken cross the road? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . His family was experiencing financial troubles, and needed money. He tried applying for many jobs, but they just didn't quite work out. After ending up in the drug business to support his family, a deal went bad and he was shot, landing him in the hospital. The night his family arrived to check on him, the same shooter made his way to his room, and murdered his wife and 3 children, and somehow managed to evade police. Months after this incident, Ralph, the same chicken who was in the hospital and witnessed his family's murder, was finally released. He had nothing to live for, nothing to look forward to in the future. He took up alcohol abuse for some time, until realizing what truly had to be done. He began tracking down his family's killer, and with each day spent, he became closer and closer to discovering the dealer's whereabouts. One day, he finally figured out who it was. As he arrived at the killers' home, he took one last deep breath, then stormed in. After fighting through many of the dealers' body-guards, Ralph finally reached the notorious drug dealing murder, Foghorn Leghorn. As a bloody battle ensued, it was clear who the winner would be.. As Ralph staggered out of the destroyed home, bloodied, yet victorious, he realized something. All the tracking, all the killing, all the bloodshed he had created, was all in vain. He realized that taking Foghorn's life didn't, and wouldn't, bring his family back. Finding himself dumbfounded, he began to trot, head down, through the field where the bad drug deal happened, almost a year ago now. He took one last deep breath, looked at the stars, and took his first step on the road. This was it he decided, he was finally going to reunite with his family again once more. As the headlights raced towards him, he heard his family in unison whisper to him "You're finally home Ralph, you're finally home."

how many pancakes does it take to get fat if u answered this question your already fat

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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