Q: How many nuns does it take to eat a dead racoon? A: 2

thumb_up thumb_down +10

An eleven year old boy walks into a bar... he is searching for his father, who has a known alchol problem, and has been missing for five days.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you kill a blonde woman? Shoot her in the head

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why doesn't the fat kid have any friends? Because he is fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the fly say to the spider? Please, I have a wife and daughter.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A racist walks into a bar. Nasty accident you had there mate. You should be more careful next time.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. I ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q:what did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? other person: What? A:how am i suppose to know I'm not a lawyer.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why is 6 afraid of 7. Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Yo momma's so fat that all the children within a close proximity of your home think that your mother is a very large woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Is your refrigerator running? Yes. That always nice, you dont want your dairy products to spoil.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

orange -banana and lemon say....... i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i want to eat u (RANDOMZZZZZ)

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why does everybody hates Justin Bieber? Just leave that girl alone!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the boy say to his friend? "Hello!"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Greg and Michal once had a fight I lost.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was six afraid of seven? He was wanted for murder.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A police man pulls over a blonde for speeding. The policeman tells her she was speeding and starts to write a ticket. She get emotional and begins to cry. He writes the ticket, she signs it, and she drives off.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the Asian guy dumped by his hot girlfriend? Well you know what they say about Asian guys.... They are too dedicated to their schoolwork.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the duck eat the chicken noodle soup? The duck was told that if he ate the chicken noodle soup on Fear Factor he would win $10,000. What he failed to realize was that he forgot to sign page 16 on the episode contract and did not win any money and was sued by Campbell's soup for copyright infringement.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the best part of twenty one year old's? Their bodies have matured enough that the U.S. government deems it safe for them to consume alcoholic beverages with proper I.D.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's green and would kill you if it fell on you? A golf course

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's red and green and goes 100mph? A frog in a vehicle on the Autobahn.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops