How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill two and a half men

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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Q. whats red and sits in a hairdressers? A. a baby getting its hair cut with a potato peeler

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Why was Carlos fired? Because he stole and smelled of weed.

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I was going to type an anti-joke but I totally forgot how it starts. It goes something like something something something something something your mom's a whore.

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, Wait, what? huh

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Q. Why did the 40 year old woman puts on a large amount of makeup? A. She may have gerontophobia.

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what kind of dog has no tail? a hot dog

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why does david stutter during meetings. because he smiles till his cheeks hurt

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How many cows does it take to screw in a light bulb? Either one super cow or none because cows don't even have apposable thumbs

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24

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What did the coconut say to the lizard? Nothing, the coconut fell off the tree and killed the lizard.

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adele is so fat that when shes on a plane she makes the skyfall

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I wumbo, you wumbo, he she me,.WUMBO!

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Friends are like potatoes - when you eat them they die.

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Fat people

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How do you get an annoying baby to shut up? Hit it with a bat

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Tip for Employers: Avoid hiring unlucky people by immediately tossing half the resumes into the bin.

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What do you call man who travels on foot? a pedestrian

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer left the gate open, letting all his livestock escape, and crushing his prospects of trying to keep his family fed.

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knock knock who's there? nobody. then why are you knocking?

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I HATE GEORGE LOPEZ

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Two gay guys walk into a bar. You think the second one would notice...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops