Roses are red Violets are blue I am schizophrenic ...and so am I

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Your mom is so fat that she should watch her weight and maintain a healthy diet.

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Me and the wife spent her Birthday in bed, if you know what I mean. We're both severely disabled.

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Why did the boy throw his clock out the window? After hours of waiting for the perfect victim, the boy spotted an elderly woman walking down the sidewalk. The clock barreled through the air, hitting the old woman on the head at extremely high speeds. She was immediately killed on contact.

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What do you call an African American on the moon? An astronaut

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A man and his friend are talking. The man says, "You know what's funny? Sometimes you mean to say one thing and you say a completely different thing. Like the other day I wanted to buy a ticket to pittsburgh, but the lady I was buying it from had very large breasts, so I accidentally said 'Can I have a picket to titsburgh?'" And the other guy says, "Yeah, man, it's really funny you say that, the other day I meant to ask my wife to pass the salt, and I said 'you whore, you ruined my life'"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I stole all your jokes, I stole this one too.

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Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant monkey

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baskets

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Why did the boy fall over? Because he broke his leg. Why did the second boy fall over? Because he was having a seizure.

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1: Knock Knock. 2: Who's there? 1: To. 2: To Who? 1: To whom.

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Why did the black men chase the chicken ? Because it wondered out of a barn.

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What happened to the boy who tried to cross the road? He got hit by a semi-truck and died.

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Yo mama so fat, i rolled over twice and i still on that bitch.

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pee

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Jane asked her husband why he was crying, he replied "Because i have extremely agressive cancer" hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.....Cancer

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What do you get when you eat a bag of potatoes? The're all gone.

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Some people like melon and others like soup.

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Why couldn't the bird fly? cause it was a penguin

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What did the woman say when she ate crabs. This smells like my vagina (This women died slowly from crabs)

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Knock Knock ! Who's there? Jim. Oh come in.

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What's worse, a dog dying or cancer? The Holocaust.

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What do you call a city that never sleeps? Cities cannot sleep; they merely represent a societal body of people living in a confined community. A city may have a prosperous night-life, however, cannot functionally "fall asleep" in the convential sense of the term.

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Roses are red , Violets Are Blue , i Dont Like rhyming , TITTIES !!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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