How do you teach an old dog a new trick? Answer: You can't

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What is the only day of the year when you're guaranteed to find me? The day I kill you.

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My mom was telling my brother how much it hurt when she stubbed her toe. He told her she should try child birth.

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what's grosser then 1000 babies stapled to a tree?? 1 baby stapled to 1000 trees

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Q: How do you break into your own house? A:You don't....thats ridiculous(:

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As they went down the hill Jack tripped on a rock, falling breaking many bones including his neck. In all the hysteria, Jill fell too, however she landed on a rock and now has severe dementia. This was all for a pail of water.

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-Knock knock! -Who's there? -Pizza. That'll be 20 bucks. -Here you go. -Thank you.

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Your dad is so abusive that he hurts you when he losses his temper

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whats the difference between a door knob? a milk carton, because people have legs so they can walk !!!!!

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Q: What's so special about my Ferrari? A: It was painted with babies

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Q: What did the banana say as it was being eaten? A: Nothing. Bananas are inanimate objects and therefore are incapable of talking.

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What do Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton, and Pamela Anderson all have in common? All of their last names end with an "n"

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Yo momma's so black, when yo poppa rides her, he says "Look! I'm Hiccup!"

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how do we call a person with no body nor nose? a dead guy

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Try typing in any three letters in Google images and you will always see something inappropriate. Posted by: BerserkSpoon

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why did bob fall off the swing Because he got hit by a microwave

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- Why Justin Bieber can't login to Facebook? - Because he forgot the password.

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A blonde was drinking water from the water fountain. She was very thirsty.

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How do you pacify Hitler? Give him jews.

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a kid plays computer games alot and gets carpoltunel in both hands and lives in pain for the rest of his life.

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-What animal has the best vision? -I hate when you try to talk dirty during sex

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What is life? It is a sexually transmitted disease which always ends in death. There is currently no known cure.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza has cheese on it.

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Person 1: 'Ask me if I'm a tree' Person 2: 'Are you a tree?' Person 1: 'No.'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops