Q: why did the boy cross the road A: because he was being chased by a pedophile

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Whats worse than dying? Nothing.....?

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? Because Apocalypse arrived and dead people now have the ability to walk.

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84.52% of users disapprove of your post, plus or minus 3%.

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why did you read this anti-joke? because you typed in antijoke on google or have the app on a phone

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WHAT????

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How do you get pikachu onto a bus? You can't. Pikachu is a fictional creature and therefore does not exist.

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What's the difference between a bird and a wheel? They both fly, I lied about the wheel.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? Because it followed the trail of bird feed strewn across it.

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What do you call a child with a peg leg, and eye patch, and no hand? Names

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A guy walks into the bar and orders a coke with some ice and some peanuts. It cost a total of $4.00 plus tax. He gave the bartender $5.00 and told him to keep the change. He drank the soda pop and burped loudly and left the bar and forgot his peanuts.

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Two polar bears are sitting in a hot tub. One polar bear asks the other to pass the soap. The other responds, "No soap, radio!"

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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Q: What's the upside to your otherwise miserable life? A: You only got raped twice last week.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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Why was the Jew sad Because it was Christmas.

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Several of our "name brothers" have been attacked threatened and questioned almost every night since when we last talked on the phone, it turns out that these people are not after me. But after you, they have no idea that I retired years ago, and while their information is limited, you got yourself someone that is selling information on the deep web intentionally, as far as we know he might be selling you out piece by piece, and as of this point, you might be in dire danger.

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A white man, hispanic man, and a black man walk into a bar together. They order cokes.

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A man walks into a bar. The other patrons suddenly start to run away screaming, because he had just been hit by a bus.

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why didnt Joe drive the tractor today? Because Joe doesnt have any arms or legs. Why doesnt Joe have any arms or legs? A) Because Joe is a potatoe

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I have a black guy on my family tree. He's my cousin.

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what did one swedish guy say to another swedish guy? I dont speak russian

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What's worse than being annal raped by a black man? Well lots of things are but being raped by a guy who has around a 7 inch penis may be hurtful I'm sure being cut open and eaten alive may be worse;)

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a room? This is impossible as dead babies are incapable of achieving such a feat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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