A woman leaves the kitchen.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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What did the policeman say to the black thief? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say or do may be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to consult an attorney before speaking to the police and to have an attorney present during questioning now or in the future. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you before any questioning, if you wish. If you decide to answer any questions now, without an attorney present, you will still have the right to stop answering at any time until you talk to an attorney. Knowing and understanding your rights as I have explained them to you, are you willing to answer my questions without an attorney present.

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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Why did the man pull out his chainsaw? To get rid of a tree in his front yard.

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream? The Holocaust.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: WHERE'S MY TRACTOR?!

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Your dad is so gay, he lovingly marries another man and selflessly adopts you.

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Why couldnt Jimmy ride a bike? refrigerator

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Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team? They do, they just choose not to compete certain years.

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A: Ask me if I'm a tree! B: Are you a tree? A: No.

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Q:Why are all of the vampires extinct? A:AIDS is a serious disease. You shouldn't joke about it.

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A student often slept through his alarm, which led to a lower class attendance rate and thus a poor performance on his exam

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Why Is Six Afraid of Seven? because he is black.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Walt dies in breaking bad.

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A man walks into a bar, he asks if the bartender knows where Starbucks is. The bartender finds this exceptable and shows him the way.

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Where's the dick??? east

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When did joseph the deer learn to fly? - Never, deer can't fly

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Whats the first thing you do when your grandmother gets hit by a toaster? Buy a new toaster.

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Your mom is so ugly, that her job prospects are affected negatively, and your family suffers as a consequence.

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A kid has no friends.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because in between 6 and 7 there used to be the number § but 7 raped and murdered it.

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Why did old Dorris shit herself? Because Margaret fell over.

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender goes why do you have a cane? The man goes "I'm blind."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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