Why couldn't Harry Potter get a job at Mc Donalds? Because he isn't real.

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Q: What do you call justin bieber? A: gay

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Why did Dean Jones talk to his car? Because it was Herbie the love bug , a car possessed by a demon that had voice recognition capabilities and thus could understand him

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

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Who took the cookie from the cookie jar? Your mom

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Roses are red, violets are red, Tulips are red, bushes are red.... WTF MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE.

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Why couldn't the white child dunk the basketball? His legs were amputated and he has been confined to a wheelchair.

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Why did the woman stop making a sandwich for her husband? Because he's dead.

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What's the best way to get high without doing drugs? Jump.

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How do you sabotage someone's car? Drop a fridge on it

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A squirrel and an owl are sitting in a tree. The squirrel turns to the owl and says nothing, because it is a squirrel and squirrels can't talk. The owl turns to the squirrel and eats it, because it is a bird of prey.

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Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

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It was a dark and stormy night. The whole family waiting for the phone to ring as they await for a criminal to give instructions. Then the phone rings... RING RING Jeffery: "Hello? Yes, sir. Yes, sir. No sir please don't! No, have mercy! Yes sir. No sir, no. Yes sir. Bye." Donald: "What did the man say?" Jeffery: "Wrong number..."

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Three men are walking down the street to buy groceries. They then take a left and continue walking towards the store.

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what did the homeless man get for christmas.......................nothing

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a black guy board a plane. Who gets kicked off first? The jew for his unruly behavior towards the flight attendant.

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A terrorist. What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot. What are you racist or something?

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Where did the banana go? -Nowhere, a banana can't walk.,

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What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

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Whats black and white and red all over Racial violence

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TOP COMMENT IS MINE!

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What did George Washington say before he crossed the Delaware? "Get in the boat."

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What did the dog say to the cat Nothing dogs cant talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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