There once was a man named Steve. One day, Steve stumbled stupidly, shredding his shirt, shoes and shorts and subsequently shocking Susie; a small shy salsa student. When he arrived home, Steve's wife asked "how was your day dear?" Steve panicked at the thought of having to explain this traumatic event, but thankfully he had undergone speech therapy for his lisp.

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Three bitches walk into a bar, and die

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Why didn't john go to school? He has terminal cancer and he must stay at hospital

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What's funny? Nick Sotelo

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-What's long, hard and full of semen? -Since this is a play on words both an erect penis and a naval submarine could apply here

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Whats green and has wheels?? - Grass, I lied about the wheels

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If I have a penny, and I give it to Michael Jackson, What will he do with it? Nothing. He's dead.

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Where does Elmo live? In Sesame Street.

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What should'nt you say to a rape victim. Rape.

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The declaration of Independence was singed in? Pen.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen. Its was her funeral

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I hate it when people pour my cereal. They don't know how much I want. They don't know my life. They don't know what I've been through.

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Nice ass. Too bad it's cracked in the middle, though.

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Yo mama so fat when she sat around the hous she sat AROUND the house

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven, one muffin says to the other; boy it's hot in here. the other other muffin doesn't reply because it's a muffin, muffins don't talk. Now consider that the first muffin was a squirrel, A TALKING SQUIRREL!

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what is funnier then this joke? A jewish muslim that is asian, balck, and mexican,and is woomen crossing the border then geting shot and hung by a rope of dead babies

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you go to cvs and theres a robber trying to shoot everyone and the cashier says do you have a rewards card

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emma: mat has a quick reaction time

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So Bob walked into his house after a long day at work and layed a rope on his bed. A few hours later his wife came home and found a beautiful tire swing in their backyard but her husband shot him self in his throat.

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We started this thing together, I do not get it, he is like you said, just a little nerd...

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Why did Johnny's pants fall down? Because he was fat.

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Doctor doctor, I feel like listening to good music. Looks like you need "The Cure" to help with this.

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A kid who lost parents is called an orphan and a wife who lost her husband is called a widow. What do you call parents who lost their child? Free on the Weekends.

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Eddie Murphy's recent film career.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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