I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis

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Women's Rights

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How do you make a tissue dance? You really can't, but you could grab it and shake it around so it looks like its dancing.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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your mother is so obese, that she really should look into eating a well balanced diet and taking part in an excercise plan that suits her

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hey timmy, wanna go to Disneyworld?! tough. *10 seconds later* still no timmy

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Roses are red Violets are red Your flowers are red Yes set your garden on fire

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What do you call a shark on land A dead shark

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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed? She got kicked in the face by a mule.

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What is the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? I take my cleats off when I jump on trampolines

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Why wasn't the woman happy when she gave birth? Because she was thrown into a pool of semen 9 months ago.

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Vaginal secretions

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A blind man walks into a book store. He asks if they have any books in Braille. The employee says "Yes! Many you haven't even seen before!"

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? a horse

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why did the blond walk in to a door because she was not paying attention

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how do you piss off a dyslexic? give him a crossword puzzle

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Why was the five-year old lying in the middle of the sidewalk? Because he was dead.

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what happened to the guy that got attacked by a shark he died

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What's 6 + 9? 15.

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Human race: Let's play hide and seek! BOEING MH370: K faggotz :P

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I hate Mondays, the man said as he drove to work. Fortunately for him, it was a Wednesday.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police. Come out with your hands up!

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When I meet the woman of my dreams, she wont know what hit her... Nor will the police.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pickles.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops